¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I were a rich person..

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-29 309

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a rich person, I would like to go to Europe for my next vacation.
This is because, I haven't been there and I have heard about this place where there are many beautiful attractions.
Even, as for my major, there are lots of the musical sites in this place and this enables me to broaden my musical background.
Thus, I really want to go to Europe.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


If I were a rich person, I would like to go to Europe for my next vacation.

>> CORRECT!
This is because, I haven't been there and I have heard about this place where there are many beautiful attractions.

>> This is because I haven't been there yet, and I have heard about this place where there are many beautiful attractions.
Even, as for my major, there are lots of the musical sites in this place and this enables me to broaden my musical background.

>> In relation to my major, there are lots of musical sites in this place and this will enable me to broaden my musical background.
Thus, I really want to go to Europe.

>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105100 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105099 impulsive purchase ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 314
105098 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 3
105097 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 482
105096 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 318
105095 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105094 We have to clean our teeeth very clearly ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 321
105093 What can governments do to recover from the global pandemic? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105092 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 349
105091 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105090 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 301
105089 I was one who spent time alone. I just had some of a friend À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 287
105088 the advantages are getting healthy and saving the money that you... À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 310
105087 English Homework 20 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 307
105086 The staple foods of my country. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 366
105085 Adorable animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 2
105084 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 227
105083 Why do you think body language is important? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105082 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 378
105081 homework_21.01.26 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04