¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Travel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-01-31 942

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In 2019, My family went on a vacation to Jeju island.
The day, we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for vacation. The previous day I had a dinner with my friends, so I came back home lately. My wife packed our children's luggage. I needed to pack my luggage.
After preparing, we went to airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived in Jeju island. The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with company's card. After lunch we moved to brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.
After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me about coming back lately last night. We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until coming back home. I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, We had terrible vacation. Finally, I got stomachache because of stress. The last day of vacation, water only was allowed me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Travel

In 2019, My family went on a vacation to Jeju island.
>>> CORRECT

The day, we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for vacation.
>>> On the day we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for the vacation. 

The previous day I had a dinner with my friends, so I came back home lately. 
>>> The previous day I had dinner with my friends, so I came back home late. 

My wife packed our children's luggage. I needed to pack my luggage.
>>> CORRECT

After preparing, we went to airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived in Jeju island. 
>>> After preparing, we went to the airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived on Jeju island. 

The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with company's card. 
>>> The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with the company's card. 

After lunch we moved to brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.
>>> Then we moved to the brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.

After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me about coming back lately last night. 
>>> After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me for coming back late last night.

We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until coming back home.
>>> We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until we came back home.

I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, We had terrible vacation. 
>>> I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, we still had a good vacation. 

Finally, I got stomachache because of stress. 
>>> CORRECT

The last day of vacation, water only was allowed me.
>>> On the last day of vacation, playing on the water was the only thing that made me happy.

*Note: I don't really get what you mean on the last sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105414 When I feel demotivated ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 405
105413 Homework (218) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 478
105412 What type of music do you most like to listen to? À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 463
105411 How do you relieve stress ? Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105410 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 3
105409 My favorite things that are good for health. ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 497
105408 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 408
105407 In your own opinion, how long should a company meeting last? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105406 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 346
105405 My wish ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 417
105404 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 533
105403 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105402 What classes do you not like? Why don\'t you like them? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 392
105401 Homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105400 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1503
105399 course introduction ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 673
105398 Why Color Is Important. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 534
105397 I like \"Beauty and the Beast\" because of a moral lesson ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 550
105396 I like to listen to a classic music like Orchestra À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1946
105395 I like having guests in my house. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04