¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Travel

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-01-31 927

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In 2019, My family went on a vacation to Jeju island.
The day, we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for vacation. The previous day I had a dinner with my friends, so I came back home lately. My wife packed our children's luggage. I needed to pack my luggage.
After preparing, we went to airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived in Jeju island. The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with company's card. After lunch we moved to brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.
After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me about coming back lately last night. We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until coming back home. I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, We had terrible vacation. Finally, I got stomachache because of stress. The last day of vacation, water only was allowed me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


Travel

In 2019, My family went on a vacation to Jeju island.
>>> CORRECT

The day, we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for vacation.
>>> On the day we were leaving, I woke up early to pack my stuff for the vacation. 

The previous day I had a dinner with my friends, so I came back home lately. 
>>> The previous day I had dinner with my friends, so I came back home late. 

My wife packed our children's luggage. I needed to pack my luggage.
>>> CORRECT

After preparing, we went to airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived in Jeju island. 
>>> After preparing, we went to the airport on time. After 1 hour, we arrived on Jeju island. 

The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with company's card. 
>>> The lunch was nice. My boss allowed me to pay for lunch with the company's card. 

After lunch we moved to brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.
>>> Then we moved to the brewery to buy beer. Until that time, the vacation was perfect.

After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me about coming back lately last night. 
>>> After buying beer, my wife started nagging me. She blamed me for coming back late last night.

We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until coming back home.
>>> We fought, and we hadn't talked anymore until we came back home.

I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, We had terrible vacation. 
>>> I was really angry. Even if we spent lots of money, we still had a good vacation. 

Finally, I got stomachache because of stress. 
>>> CORRECT

The last day of vacation, water only was allowed me.
>>> On the last day of vacation, playing on the water was the only thing that made me happy.

*Note: I don't really get what you mean on the last sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104946 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 301
104945 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 361
104944 I don\'t like camping but I had before À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 341
104943 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104942 English Homework 19 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 292
104941 Would you rather go to someone else\'s house for a party or have... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104940 Late vs Early Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 316
104939 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104938 GERUND or INFINITIVE? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 1
104937 Tell your teacher the worst customer that you have encountered ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 281
104936 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 1
104935 What success have you had in this English class? What can you do... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 4
104934 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 1
104933 What is something that you need to focus on improving this 2021? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 0
104932 composition related to work ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 2
104931 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 337
104930 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 466
104929 In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 291
104928 Do you sometimes commit mistakes about details on your e-mails?... Àå*¹è ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 345
104927 Have words ever hurt you? Tell the story in 5 sentences or more. È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04