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My strangest dream

작성자: 김*랑
2021-02-01 329

회원님의 영작문

I had a best memorable dream in 11 years old. At that night, mabye I read a mermaid with my mom that night, I saw a mermaid movie twice over, so I memorise what they say. Actually I bought a mermaid doll that day, I think 11 years old of maria was loved mermaid. I had dream similar of mermaid, I went to picnic to park with my family. On that day, it was so warm and fresh, so the pond is looks like beautiful stars. 11 years old of maria loved twinkle things too, so I approached to pond, and I fell in there. If this was the real world, I can't breath, also I can't talk, but in my dream, I can breath, and I can talk either, but I have to talk to my mom like: "Help me mother!", so I take out of here, but as soon as I put out my head, I woke up from my dream. This dream was the strangest dream I've ever had.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening Maria!

A strange dream indeed! Perhaps you love the water and swimming. You were like Ariel of The Little Mermaid in your dream story.

Anyway, your long sentence on the 5th line is correct and I am very happy that there was only a few mistakes there. Keep writing and doing a great job!

See you in class again soon.

-T. Donna =)

I had a best memorable dream in 11 years old. At that night, mabye I read a mermaid with my mom that night, I saw a mermaid movie twice over, so I memorise what they say. 
>> I had the best memorable dream when I was 11 years old. At that night, maybe I read a mermaid story with my mom and I saw a mermaid movie twice so I memorized what they said. 

Actually I bought a mermaid doll that day, I think 11 years old of maria was loved mermaid. 
>> Actually I bought a mermaid doll that day. I think the 11 years old Maria loved mermaids. 

I had dream similar of mermaid, I went to picnic to park with my family. On that day, it was so warm and fresh, so the pond is looks like beautiful stars. 
>> I had a dream similar of mermaids when I went to picnic at the park with my family. On that day, it was so warm and fresh, so the pond looks like beautiful stars. 

11 years old of maria loved twinkle things too, so I approached to pond, and I fell in there. 
>> The 11-year old of Maria loved twinkling things too, so I approached the pond and I fell in there. 

If this was the real world, I can't breath, also I can't talk, but in my dream, I can breath, and I can talk either, but I have to talk to my mom like: "Help me mother!", so I take out of here, but as soon as I put out my head, I woke up from my dream. 
>> Correct! 
Or: ONLY THIS PART: ... So I got out of there but soon as...

This dream was the strangest dream I've ever had.
>> Correct!
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