¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think money can have a negative effect on people? In what way?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-02-01 272

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that money can have some negative effects on people. First, they can make people focus on it. So they can't live normal life. Also, people can be in danger because of the robber and thief. The money makes people live better life but it can also make people feel anxious.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited homework, Kai!
Catch you tonight!

Cheers, 
Jean~~


I think that money can have some negative effects on people.
>> correct

 First, they can make people focus on it. 
>> First, it can make people focus too much on it or become obsessed with it. 

So they can't live normal life. 
>> So they can't live normal lives. 

Also, people can be in danger because of the robber and thief. 
>> Also, people can be in danger because of robbers and thieves. 

The money makes people live better life but it can also make people feel anxious.
>> Money makes people live better lives but it can also make them feel anxious.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105531 What offers can you refuse? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 1
105530 friend Çã* ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 519
105529 The airport rules ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 1
105528 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 8
105527 My dream house ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 1
105526 4.33 million people de facto jobless in Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 0
105525 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 489
105524 Do you think children learn bad habits at school or at home? How? Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 514
105523 Exchange programs help students, teachers upgrade global... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 0
105522 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 763
105521 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 702
105520 As a critic, what specific things do you need to tackle when it... À±*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 460
105519 Where do you want to live if given the chance to choose? Answer... À±*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 742
105518 IRECTIONS: Use the expressions in your own sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 0
105517 What are other things you like to engage in aside from the arts?... À±*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 474
105516 Do you think children learn bad habits at school or at home? How? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 648
105515 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 1
105514 English Homework 26 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 526
105513 some gestures or behaviors are strange to me in my country. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 556
105512 Who is the best English speaker in your family and why? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-09 473

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04