무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What suggestion can you recommend to your government to increase your population?

작성자: 정*원
2021-02-01 337

회원님의 영작문

In my country, the birth rate has decreased gradually since 2000. This low-birth-rate phenomenon is due to ignorance of the society. Getting married and having a child both are needed a stable income to make a living. In modern society, most women studied same as men, and furthermore, they achieve a high position at their work. However, evenif they made a good result for the company, if they pregnant or have a child, they will not be able to maintain their career.
No companies wait mothers. Some vompanies have a good welfare system for mother but it is not enough to encourage young couple to have a baby.
I think there should be a kind of prize to a new married couple who have a baby from the government.
Besides, if they have more babies the government should reward them more. Young people doesn't want to sacrifice themselves for anyone. If they don't have to lose not many things, if rather they will get more financial benefits from government, I believe that they want to be parents.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning Young Won!

What is it in a trend that many people follow? Perhaps, convenience and comfort. If most South Koreans are ready to give up these things and also your recommendations below will be given by the government, there can be a light at the end of the tunnel.

For now, it would be good to psyche the kids to have their family and have children in the future. 

See you in a few.

-T. Donna =)

In my country, the birth rate has decreased gradually since 2000. This low-birth-rate phenomenon is due to ignorance of the society. 
>> Correct!

Getting married and having a child both are needed a stable income to make a living. In modern society, most women studied same as men, and furthermore, they achieve a high position at their work. However, evenif they made a good result for the company, if they pregnant or have a child, they will not be able to maintain their career.
>> Getting married and having a child both need a stable income to make a living. In this modern society, most women studied the same as men. Furthermore, they achieve a high position at their work. However, even if they made a good result/ (impact) for the company, if they get pregnant or have a child, they will not be able to maintain their career.

No companies wait mothers. Some vompanies have a good welfare system for mother but it is not enough to encourage young couple to have a baby.
>> No companies wait for mothers. Some companies have a good welfare system for mothers but it is not enough to encourage young couples to have a baby.

I think there should be a kind of prize to a new married couple who have a baby from the government.
>> I think that there should be a kind of a prize to newly married couples who will have a baby from the government.

Besides, if they have more babies the government should reward them more. Young people doesn't want to sacrifice themselves for anyone. If they don't have to lose not many things, if rather they will get more financial benefits from government, I believe that they want to be parents.
>> Besides, if they have more babies the government should reward them more. Young people don't want to sacrifice themselves for anyone. If they don't have to lose many things, if they rather get more financial benefits from the government, I believe that they would want to be parents.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
105112 How people are greeting in Australia? 유*연 완료 2021-01-28 2
105111 Homework (212) 박*하 완료 2021-01-28 463
105110 homework 이*훈 완료 2021-01-28 1
105109 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? 황*환 완료 2021-01-28 542
105108 Why is English fluency significant for me? 조*서 완료 2021-01-27 1
105107 Why do you think body language is important? 허*늘 완료 2021-01-27 6
105106 What are some normal challenges people face? 서*연 완료 2021-01-27 348
105105 Hello~ 신*윤 완료 2021-01-27 1
105104 What should I do if I had to travel to a country where it’s... 김*원 완료 2021-01-27 450
105103 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the following words and use... 김*정 완료 2021-01-27 1
105102 What does ‘money doesn’t grow on trees‘ mean? Do you agree? 황*조 완료 2021-01-27 409
105101 Hm 장*환 완료 2021-01-27 345
105100 homework 감*우 완료 2021-01-27 1
105099 impulsive purchase 이*하 완료 2021-01-27 317
105098 Homework 김*수 완료 2021-01-27 3
105097 grammar 손*림 완료 2021-01-27 487
105096 Homework 김*윤 완료 2021-01-27 324
105095 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? 전*윤 완료 2021-01-27 0
105094 We have to clean our teeeth very clearly 김*랑 완료 2021-01-27 324
105093 What can governments do to recover from the global pandemic? 전*윤 완료 2021-01-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]