¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How to help homeless people

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*½Å
2021-02-03 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in United State, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. Then, how could we help homeless people?
First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food service. Usually homeless could not eat healthy food because they don't have much money. Because they couldn't eat good food, they will be sick and they will have lack of nutrition. But if the city hall provide homeless free healthy food, homeless will be healthier.
Moreover, we can provide free health care for homeless. Homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. Because homeless can't wash and can't eat well, they are easy to be infected by the virus. So there are lots of homeless dying because of the ailments. So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help homeless to be healthier.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Hannah! ^^
What a great introduction you wrote here!
I am always amazed with your sentence construction~
Keep it up!

- T. Rina


1. According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in United State, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. 
>> According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in the United States, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. 

2. Then, how could we help homeless people?
>> CORRECT!

3. First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food service. 
>> First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food services. 

4. Usually homeless could not eat healthy food because they don't have much money. 
>> CORRECT!

5. Because they couldn't eat good food, they will be sick and they will have lack of nutrition. 
>> CORRECT!

6. But if the city hall provide homeless free healthy food, homeless will be healthier.
>> But if the city hall provides the homeless healthy food for free, they will be healthier. 

7. Moreover, we can provide free health care for homeless. 
>> Moreover, we can provide free health care for the homeless.

8. Homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. 
>>  The homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. 

9. Because homeless can't wash and can't eat well, they are easy to be infected by the virus. 
>> Because the homeless can't wash and eat well, they can be infected by the virus easily.

10. So there are lots of homeless dying because of the ailments. 
>> CORRECT!

11. So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help homeless to be healthier.
>> So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help the homeless to be healthier. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105461 Whst do you do when you do not fully understand someone\'s... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-06 475
105460 How would you like to be comforted by your parents? Explain. °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-06 461
105459 I would build my own house. Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-06 2
105458 How can we get rid of bad habits? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105457 Claire\'s homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 483
105456 What memory in your life can you not forget? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105455 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 2
105454 The memory that I can¡¯t forget in my life ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 371
105453 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 408
105452 Which medicine do you like best? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105451 Which do you prefer, laptops or phones? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105450 Homework (219) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 420
105449 What are some special customs or traditions in your country? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 473
105448 HOMEWORK FOR 02.05 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 428
105447 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0
105446 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 588
105445 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 1
105444 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 1
105443 Writing task Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 3
105442 Work - Email(2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-05 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04