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How to help homeless people

작성자: 조*신
2021-02-03 375

회원님의 영작문

According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in United State, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. Then, how could we help homeless people?
First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food service. Usually homeless could not eat healthy food because they don't have much money. Because they couldn't eat good food, they will be sick and they will have lack of nutrition. But if the city hall provide homeless free healthy food, homeless will be healthier.
Moreover, we can provide free health care for homeless. Homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. Because homeless can't wash and can't eat well, they are easy to be infected by the virus. So there are lots of homeless dying because of the ailments. So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help homeless to be healthier.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Hannah! ^^
What a great introduction you wrote here!
I am always amazed with your sentence construction~
Keep it up!

- T. Rina


1. According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in United State, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. 
>> According to the federal government statistics, by the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development's Annual Homeless Assessment Report at 2018, HUD reported there were 553,000 homeless people in the United States, on a given night, or 0.17% of the population. 

2. Then, how could we help homeless people?
>> CORRECT!

3. First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food service. 
>> First of all, in each city, we can make provide free-food services. 

4. Usually homeless could not eat healthy food because they don't have much money. 
>> CORRECT!

5. Because they couldn't eat good food, they will be sick and they will have lack of nutrition. 
>> CORRECT!

6. But if the city hall provide homeless free healthy food, homeless will be healthier.
>> But if the city hall provides the homeless healthy food for free, they will be healthier. 

7. Moreover, we can provide free health care for homeless. 
>> Moreover, we can provide free health care for the homeless.

8. Homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. 
>>  The homeless don't have money as I mentioned above. 

9. Because homeless can't wash and can't eat well, they are easy to be infected by the virus. 
>> Because the homeless can't wash and eat well, they can be infected by the virus easily.

10. So there are lots of homeless dying because of the ailments. 
>> CORRECT!

11. So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help homeless to be healthier.
>> So if an organization for social welfare check their health termly, it will help the homeless to be healthier. 
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