¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The busiest city in my area

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-02-03 263

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the busiest city in my area is Seo-myeon.
This is because there are lots of restaurants and some places where people hang out with friends.
So, everytime I go to this place, people are always crowded in this city and I usually watch them very busy.
I don't prefer going to this area, because I love feelings of comfortable and calm.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Sunny! 

It's great to see you here on the composition site.

Some people enjoy being in a crowd and taking part of it while others shy away from it and enjoy the comfort of calmness as you do.

They say that as we grow older, we are more attuned to quietness and solitude. So if you enjoy these, you are getting more matured.

Thanks for sending me this to read and to suggest some grammar patters to.

I must say you write short, correct, and very meaningful sentences. Keep up the good work!

See you in class!

-T. Donna =) 

I think the busiest city in my area is Seo-myeon.
>> Correct!

This is because there are lots of restaurants and some places where people hang out with friends.
>> Correct!

So, everytime I go to this place, people are always crowded in this city and I usually watch them very busy.
>> Correct!
Or: every time

I don't prefer going to this area, because I love feelings of comfortable and calm.
>> I don't prefer going to this area because I love feelings of being comfortable and calmness.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105501 loosen up a bit ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 9
105500 I\'m punctual person, and being punctual is important. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 404
105499 homework_21.02.04 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105498 How can child abuse be prevented or avoided? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105497 Do you want to have a twin? Why or why not? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105496 I\\\'m not doing anything preparing a disaster À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 456
105495 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 0
105494 What comes to mind when you think of pet. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 384
105493 Musical Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 450
105492 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105491 Homework {02/03} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 477
105490 Elements Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 407
105489 homework (Yoonha) Á¤*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105488 Homework0208 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 483
105487 HOMEWORK FOR 02.08 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 634
105486 Do you agree that \"age is just a number\"? In your country, how... À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105485 Twins ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105484 How can we get rid of bad habits? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 448
105483 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105482 Fortnight ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 534

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04