¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The biggest change of Korean families.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-04 569

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. I have 5 friends who have been meeting often. Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not. Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). Korean population is getting decreasing. It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


The biggest change of Korean families.

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. 
>>> The biggest change in Korean families is having one child or no children at all. 

I have 5 friends who have been meeting often.
>>> I have 5 friends whom I'm meeting very often. 

Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not.
>>> Only one among them has two children other friends have one child and others none.

Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 
>>> Korea has the lowest birth rate according to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 

Korean population is getting decreasing. 
>>> The Korean population is decreasing. 

It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. 
>>> It is one of the biggest problems in Korea. Nowadays, raising a child needs lots of money. 

Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. 
>>> Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for their children. 

They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 
>>> They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 

In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
>>> In my case, I have wanted to have three children, but I'll just feel sorry for my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105981 State of interest #2 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1850
105980 State of interest #1 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 10937
105979 What springs to mind when you hear the term ¡®junk food¡¯? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1877
105978 [2/23]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105977 [2/22]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105976 What food makes you feel at home and why is it special? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1672
105975 What was the best experience you\'ve had at your work? Why? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1404
105974 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105973 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1451
105972 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1395
105971 My favorite famous painting is Vincent van Gogh\'s Starry night. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1594
105970 The way of reducing waste materials Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1329
105969 homework ÀÌ*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1552
105968 Buying less mask Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1491
105967 What are your hobbies? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105966 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 0
105965 If you will move in to a new place, where would it be and why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1499
105964 How would you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1480
105963 The 2nd quarantine life_2 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105962 The 2nd quarantine life_1 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04