¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The biggest change of Korean families.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-04 542

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. I have 5 friends who have been meeting often. Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not. Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). Korean population is getting decreasing. It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


The biggest change of Korean families.

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. 
>>> The biggest change in Korean families is having one child or no children at all. 

I have 5 friends who have been meeting often.
>>> I have 5 friends whom I'm meeting very often. 

Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not.
>>> Only one among them has two children other friends have one child and others none.

Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 
>>> Korea has the lowest birth rate according to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 

Korean population is getting decreasing. 
>>> The Korean population is decreasing. 

It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. 
>>> It is one of the biggest problems in Korea. Nowadays, raising a child needs lots of money. 

Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. 
>>> Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for their children. 

They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 
>>> They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 

In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
>>> In my case, I have wanted to have three children, but I'll just feel sorry for my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105664 (HW) Things can go wrong when you travel. Have you had any bad... Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 648
105663 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 5
105662 If I could go out with a celebrity somewhere Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105661 What is your greatest accomplishment as of today? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 636
105660 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 3
105659 The thing that I most looking forward to this Seollal ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 926
105658 Homework (223) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 649
105657 Have you ever had your holidays ruined because of bad weather?... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 644
105656 What country has the most interesting customs? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 775
105655 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 689
105654 If I discovered that someone had been gossiping about me. ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 3
105653 If you could be a celebrity for a day, which celebrity would you... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 773
105652 [2/10]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105651 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 639
105650 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 664
105649 If you really want to do a half-day because you need to do... °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 575
105648 My favorite teacher is social studies teacher. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 703
105647 Skills or hobbies or activities you want to learn. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 542
105646 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 553
105645 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04