¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

friend

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Çã*
2021-02-09 514

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I treat my best friends, I try to be truthful and to do my best for them.
Being a flexbile and versatile person is needed to become a nice friend.
I am quiet at usual, but I become a talkative person when I'm with my friends.
I love to support and help them because I want them to be succecsful sincerely.
In fact, I think relationship is like an illusion.
One person births alone and lives within lots of communities with various people with various personality, but only family and few freinds woule be with him when he die eventually.
So I love taking care about my soulmates than caring any superficial worthless relationship.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello there, Christian!
(^___^)//

Thank you so much for this composition.
It was pretty long, but I've read it well. I have made some modifications for you to review later on.
If you have questions, we can discuss them on Tuesday next week.
See you then! »õÇØ º¹ ¸¹ÀÌ ¹ÞÀ¸¼¼¿ä

__T. Mayleen :)


When I treat my best friends, I try to be truthful and to do my best for them.
>>> I try to treat my best friends with utmost honesty. I also do my best for them.
Being a flexbile and versatile person is needed to become a nice friend.
>>> Being a flexible and versatile person is needed to be a nice/good friend.
I am quiet at usual, but I become a talkative person when I'm with my friends.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR: I'm usually quiet, but I become talkative when I'm with my friends.
I love to support and help them because I want them to be succecsful sincerely.
>>> I love to support and help them because I sincerely want them to be successful.
In fact, I think relationship is like an illusion.
>>> In fact, I believe that a relationship is like an illusion.
One person births alone and lives within lots of communities with various people with various personality, but only family and few freinds woule be with him when he die eventually.
>>> In a community, there are a lot of people with various/different personalities, but family members are usually alike. Family and real friends will not leave you until you die.
So I love taking care about my soulmates than caring any superficial worthless relationship.
>>> Thus, I will take care of my loved ones than any superficial worthless relationships.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106097 [02/26]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106096 What is the best way to help people with disability? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 5295
106095 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 4348
106094 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106093 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106092 Where do you and tour friends usually go to? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3459
106091 Use the following words in your own sentence. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3519
106090 homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3643
106089 I think the most interesting topic on our next book is... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3264
106088 What are the advantages of traveling by airplane? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106087 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3206
106086 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3143
106085 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3847
106084 Homework0301 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 10893
106083 For my children. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3137
106082 [02/24]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106081 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106080 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3204
106079 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3282
106078 Online classes vs. In-person lessons ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04