무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I think Paris.

작성자: 김*희
2021-02-10 671

회원님의 영작문

Today, on my online-class, my teacher asked me if I want to go Paris. My answer was no because in my image nowadays Paris is too dangerous to travel. When I come up with Paris, The words such as terrorism by refuges or Muslims, pickpockets and racism follow. But when I was single(before 15 years), I thought that Paris was fantastic, beautiful and advanced. What was changed in my mind?

When I was young, I met Paris in comics book and picture, but recently I've meet it on TV news. So I decided that My thought-change came form reality. The gap between real word and comic word make me more negative to Paris. The prejudice about other country is made easily from TV. It's natural for people to pay attention to bad news of foreign country because it's more important to prevent something similar.

After many thought, I made up my mind to throw away the black and white logic like a "Paris is bad, Seoul is good.". I should consider the diversity and multi-layer of the world.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Tae Hee!
This is great!
Thank you for you composition today.
Take note of the corrections below.
If you have any questions, you can ask in class.
Enjoy your holiday and see you next week.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Today, on my online-class, my teacher asked me if I want to go Paris. 
>> My teacher asked me if I wanted to go to Paris during my online class today.
My answer was no because in my image nowadays Paris is too dangerous to travel. 
>> My answer was "no" because I believe that it's too dangerous to travel to Paris nowadays.
When I come up with Paris, The words such as terrorism by refuges or Muslims, pickpockets and racism follow. 
>> When I think about Paris, words such as terrorism by refugees or Muslims, pickpockets and racism follow. 
But when I was single(before 15 years), I thought that Paris was fantastic, beautiful and advanced. 
>> However, 15 years ago when I was single, I thought that Paris was fantastic, beautiful and advanced.
What was changed in my mind?
>> What changed my mind?
When I was young, I met Paris in comics book and picture, but recently I've meet it on TV news. 
>> When I was young, I saw Paris in comic books and pictures, but recently I only see it on the news on TV.
So I decided that My thought-change came form reality. 
>> That's why I realized that my thoughts changed because of reality.
The gap between real word and comic word make me more negative to Paris. 
>> There is a gap between the comic book world and the real world which gives a more negative view on Paris.
The prejudice about other country is made easily from TV. 
>> Prejudice against other countries are easily made available on TV.
It's natural for people to pay attention to bad news of foreign country because it's more important to prevent something similar.
>> It's natural for people to pay attention to bad news about foreign countries because it's more important to prevent something similar.
After many thought, I made up my mind to throw away the black and white logic like a "Paris is bad, Seoul is good.". 
>> After a lot of thinking, I made up my mind to throw away the black and white logic like  "Paris is bad and Seoul is good."
I should consider the diversity and multi-layer of the world.
>> I should consider the diversity in the world. 
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
105230 Do you save in the bank? If yes, how do you do it? 곽*효 완료 2021-02-01 287
105229 What comes to your mind when you hear the words \"Covid-19\"? 여*진 완료 2021-02-01 0
105228 HOMEWORK 류*주 완료 2021-02-01 320
105227 Homework 이*애 완료 2021-02-01 5
105226 What’s your ideal weekend? 김*은 완료 2021-02-01 361
105225 Describe yourself in three words and explain why. 장*배 완료 2021-02-01 331
105224 My work 5 하*나 완료 2021-02-01 325
105223 My work 3 하*나 완료 2021-02-01 317
105222 My work 2 하*나 완료 2021-02-01 309
105221 My work 하*나 완료 2021-02-01 1
105220 Homework 박*리 완료 2021-02-01 334
105219 Monday homework 류*우 완료 2021-02-01 256
105218 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-02-01 1
105217 Korea unveils plans to raise healthy life expectancy by 2030 유*진 완료 2021-02-01 3
105216 homework 김*정 완료 2021-02-01 296
105215 My new product 박*명 완료 2021-02-01 304
105214 Do you think the invention and rise of computers has been a good... 서*연 완료 2021-02-01 308
105213 Ingredients in rose pasta 선*림 완료 2021-02-01 358
105212 Which greeting kind of annoys you? 유*연 완료 2021-01-31 282
105211 Homework 박*범 완료 2021-01-31 225

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]