¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

02.16.21 About Plastic surgery and Beauty .

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*¼ö
2021-02-16 708

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?

Yes, It depends on different culture. Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
And we experience around different environment.


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
It can be effected to young children. Actually they are beautiful the way they are. But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steph!
Thank you for your response. Plastic surgery is really a new norm. It's getting popular to a lot of people. However, I totally agree with you that it always depends on you and it should be what you want and not what other's want you to do. By the way, your sentences make sense. You just need to be mindful of the punctuation marks. I also suggested some new expressions that could somehow convey your ideas better. Keep it up!
~Elica~
1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?
>>CORRECT

Yes, It depends on different culture. 
>>Yes, it depends on different cultures. 
Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
>>CORRECT
And we experience around different environment.
>>CORRECT


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?
>>CORRECT

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
>>I believe that you an undergo plastic surgery but it is not a good way to express what you think.
It can be effected to young children. 
>>It can affect young children.
Actually they are beautiful the way they are. 
>>CORRECT
But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.
>>CORRECT

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?
>>CORRECT

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
>>I believe that people care about their appearance and on how people see them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.
>>That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes, high nose and an oval face.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106222 Homework0304 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5494
106221 What other country\'s food do you like the most? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106220 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4817
106219 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4069
106218 HOMEWORK FOR 03.04 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5464
106217 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5207
106216 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5386
106215 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106214 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106213 Why do we need to help other people? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4724
106212 Hi º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4426
106211 Could you check my writing? Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4161
106210 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4987
106209 What is the most important characteristic to have when working... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4324
106208 What makes a city great to live in? Are cities good for the... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 1
106207 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4651
106206 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4
106205 What are the comedy movies you have seen? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5325
106204 The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 3685
106203 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04