¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

02.16.21 About Plastic surgery and Beauty .

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*¼ö
2021-02-16 695

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?

Yes, It depends on different culture. Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
And we experience around different environment.


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
It can be effected to young children. Actually they are beautiful the way they are. But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steph!
Thank you for your response. Plastic surgery is really a new norm. It's getting popular to a lot of people. However, I totally agree with you that it always depends on you and it should be what you want and not what other's want you to do. By the way, your sentences make sense. You just need to be mindful of the punctuation marks. I also suggested some new expressions that could somehow convey your ideas better. Keep it up!
~Elica~
1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?
>>CORRECT

Yes, It depends on different culture. 
>>Yes, it depends on different cultures. 
Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
>>CORRECT
And we experience around different environment.
>>CORRECT


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?
>>CORRECT

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
>>I believe that you an undergo plastic surgery but it is not a good way to express what you think.
It can be effected to young children. 
>>It can affect young children.
Actually they are beautiful the way they are. 
>>CORRECT
But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.
>>CORRECT

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?
>>CORRECT

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
>>I believe that people care about their appearance and on how people see them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.
>>That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes, high nose and an oval face.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105344 well... we are not avoiding misunderstanding within the family À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 708
105343 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 324
105342 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 319
105341 Child abuse ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 3
105340 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 6
105339 What do you do when you feel demotivated? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105338 What\'s the best documentary film you\'ve seen so far? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 404
105337 How can child abuse be prevented or avoided? ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 212
105336 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 2
105335 Eating out or eating at home ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105334 What are your ways to learn English grammar rules effectively? ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 2
105333 My... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 5
105332 What are some ways we can help homeless people? È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 363
105331 What is your ideal school/university? Àå*¹è ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 279
105330 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 257
105329 If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice, what... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 285
105328 What do you do when you feel demotivated? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 356
105327 Why is art so expensive? Do you think it should be more, or... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 2
105326 How old is \"old\" for you? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 0
105325 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04