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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

Many people want to look younger than their real age. What are the causes of this? Is this a positiv

작성자: 황*하
2021-02-18 771

회원님의 영작문

I wanted to be an adult as quickly as possible when I was a student because there were a lot of limitation to do something. I was not stronger than adults and I couldn't make money by myself. Children tend to make their decision as their parents direct. I thought that if I became an adults, there were nothing I can't do. However, I have been exhausted as getting older because I had worries which I had to solve every moments. I realized that being an adult didn't make me happy and I have regretted to my life time in teenagers. In regard to the physical appearance, human usually looks ugly as getting old. Nobody want to be ugly so many people try to keep their skin, body shape by doing exercise and so on. Some people go to the hospital to maintain their appearance. On the other hand, people work out for their healthy life and can get benefit from it. We can see some people who work out a lot and look younger than their same age people. I think that it has a lot of positive aspects w

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HAPPY FRIDAY MR. HWANG! 
Today is great because it’s a day we can reflect on an awesome week that was. It also ushers in the weekend, where we don’t have to worry about work or school.
Keep on!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I wanted to be an adult as quickly as possible when I was a student because there were a lot of limitation to do something. 
>>> I wanted to be an adult as quickly as possible when I was a student because there were a lot of limitations to do something. 
I was not stronger than adults and I couldn't make money by myself.
>>> I was not strong like adults and I couldn't make money by myself.
 Children tend to make their decision as their parents direct.
>>>  Children tend to make their decision as their parents direct them.
 I thought that if I became an adults, there were nothing I can't do.
>>>  I thought that if I became an adult, there's nothing I can't do.
 However, I have been exhausted as getting older because I had worries which I had to solve every moment. 
>>> CORRECT
I realized that being an adult didn't make me happy and I have regretted to my life time in teenagers.
>>> I realized that being an adult doesn't make me happy and I have regretted my life during my teenagers time.
 In regard to the physical appearance, human usually looks ugly as getting old. 
>>>  With regards to the physical appearance, human usually looks ugly as they get older. 
Nobody want to be ugly so many people try to keep their skin, body shape by doing exercise and so on.
>>> Nobody wants to be ugly so many people try to keep their skin, body shape by doing exercise and so on.
 Some people go to the hospital to maintain their appearance. 
>>> CORRECT
On the other hand, people work out for their healthy life and can get benefit from it.
>>> CORRECT
 We can see some people who work out a lot and look younger than their same age people. 
>>>  We can see some people who work out a lot and look younger than people in their age.
I think that it has a lot of positive aspects...
>>> CORRECT
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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