¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The reason people is addicted SNS

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-18 1233

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

there are many SNS in the world.
It is not difficult to find some place to update our dailylife.
Many people follow and look for someone's SNS, and also want to share it.

I think after Covid 19, we use more SNS than before.
because maybe people feel more lonely.

I think human beings are very sociable existence.
human being cannot live alone. we have to share and communicate one another.
So the SNS is in fashin nowadays.
And also there are a lot of useful information regarding health or knowledge about something,

But if you use too much of it, it won't be good for your mindset.
because we are likely to compare with what we see eventhough we are great enough to be ourselves.
So, eventhough it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you Juliet!
~Lucy

There are many SNS in the world.
>>CORRECT!
It is not difficult to find some place to update our daily life.
>>CORRECT!
Many people follow and look for someone's SNS, and also want to share it.
>>CORRECT!
I think after Covid 19, we use more SNS than before.
>>CORRECT!
because maybe people feel more lonely.
>>CORRECT!
I think human beings are very sociable existence.
>>I think human beings have very sociable existence.
human being cannot live alone.
>Human beings cannot live alone.
 we have to share and communicate one another.
>> We have to share and communicate with one another.
So the SNS is in fashin nowadays.
>>So the SNS is in fashion nowadays.
And also there are a lot of useful information regarding health or knowledge about something,
>>CORRECT!
But if you use too much of it, it won't be good for your mindset.
>>CORRECT!
because we are likely to compare with what we see eventhough we are great enough to be ourselves.
>>Because we are likely to compare with what we see even though we are great enough to be ourselves.
So, eventhough it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.
>>So, even though it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106381 My opinion about bullying should be made a crime or is it part... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4330
106380 Why do companies advertise in your country? °­*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5378
106379 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5117
106378 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4931
106377 How do you see yourself ten years from now? ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3850
106376 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3889
106375 IT deveolpment and conflict ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4591
106374 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4234
106373 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5063
106372 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3
106371 Homework0309 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4608
106370 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 7
106369 My most interesting fish is mini fish. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4225
106368 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3698
106367 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4380
106366 Some people believe the aim of university education is to help... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3
106365 What would you bring to a pot-luck lunch? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 2
106364 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3953
106363 What is the food that you rarely eat? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4107
106362 I wish ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04