¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The reason people is addicted SNS

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-18 1207

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

there are many SNS in the world.
It is not difficult to find some place to update our dailylife.
Many people follow and look for someone's SNS, and also want to share it.

I think after Covid 19, we use more SNS than before.
because maybe people feel more lonely.

I think human beings are very sociable existence.
human being cannot live alone. we have to share and communicate one another.
So the SNS is in fashin nowadays.
And also there are a lot of useful information regarding health or knowledge about something,

But if you use too much of it, it won't be good for your mindset.
because we are likely to compare with what we see eventhough we are great enough to be ourselves.
So, eventhough it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you Juliet!
~Lucy

There are many SNS in the world.
>>CORRECT!
It is not difficult to find some place to update our daily life.
>>CORRECT!
Many people follow and look for someone's SNS, and also want to share it.
>>CORRECT!
I think after Covid 19, we use more SNS than before.
>>CORRECT!
because maybe people feel more lonely.
>>CORRECT!
I think human beings are very sociable existence.
>>I think human beings have very sociable existence.
human being cannot live alone.
>Human beings cannot live alone.
 we have to share and communicate one another.
>> We have to share and communicate with one another.
So the SNS is in fashin nowadays.
>>So the SNS is in fashion nowadays.
And also there are a lot of useful information regarding health or knowledge about something,
>>CORRECT!
But if you use too much of it, it won't be good for your mindset.
>>CORRECT!
because we are likely to compare with what we see eventhough we are great enough to be ourselves.
>>Because we are likely to compare with what we see even though we are great enough to be ourselves.
So, eventhough it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.
>>So, even though it is good enough, it isn't good if we abuse much of it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105863 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1039
105862 Birth registration system for Korea-born foreigners welcomed by... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105861 What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105860 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1005
105859 What do people usually do on a sleepover? Are pajama parties... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105858 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105857 English Homework 29 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 929
105856 What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1136
105855 Did you ever get a gift you didn\'t like? What did you do with... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105854 fairytale ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 984
105853 where do you usually find your friends? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 935
105852 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105851 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 9
105850 The surgery ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 2
105849 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 4
105848 Do you have any vice? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 970
105847 Homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105846 Homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105845 My first day of holiday in Korea Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105844 My first day of holiday in Korea Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04