¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °û*È¿
2021-02-19 1073

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jamie,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
>>> CORRECT

However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.
>>> However, many Koreans say they will go on a diet, but still, they eat a lot and they don't exercise.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106505 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106504 Homework0312 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4611
106503 My favorite toys was clays. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5543
106502 What would you like to see when you visit a park? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4241
106501 Do we need to be honest all the time? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 2
106500 What holiday in another countries do you wish to also be... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4135
106499 My day. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3
106498 Physical appearance ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4262
106497 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4675
106496 2021.03.12 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3606
106495 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3800
106494 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4546
106493 Write about your ideal spring vacation ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5872
106492 The importance of salary in choosing a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4972
106491 At least 97 women killed by husbands, boyfirends last year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106490 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 1
106489 Describe a risk you have taken which had a positive result ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4578
106488 Why are some sports expensive? Are they for everyone? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4503
106487 My diary ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4872
106486 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5189

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04