¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °û*È¿
2021-02-19 1045

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jamie,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
>>> CORRECT

However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.
>>> However, many Koreans say they will go on a diet, but still, they eat a lot and they don't exercise.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105633 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 754
105632 What\'s the main reason you want to have a driver\'s license? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105631 How can you motivate yourself to be a better person? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 739
105630 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 592
105629 How rich do you want to be? How much money is enough for you? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105628 Why do you think people are addicted to social media? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105627 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 6
105626 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 544
105625 Addict ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105624 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105623 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105622 writing check up_Please feel free to correct sentences ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105621 writing check up ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105620 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 772
105619 Do you agree that tattoo is modern art? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 622
105618 What are the benefits of collecting? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 654
105617 Homework0214 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 589
105616 My mom¡¯s best food. ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 528
105615 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 1
105614 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04