¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-02-22 1300

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks?
-> The advantages of taking risks is if we take risks and succeed in something, we feel proud of our selves.
Also we can get a confidence of doing something because of taking risks.
The disadvantages of taking risks is if we take risks and fail in something, we feel sad and regret.
Also we can get afraid of doing something because we fail in something that we take risks.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

The advantages of taking risks is if we take risks and succeed in something, we feel proud of our selves.
>>The advantages of taking risks is that when we take risks and succeed in it, we feel proud of ourselves. 

Also we can get a confidence of doing something because of taking risks.
>> We can get confidence from it as well. 

The disadvantages of taking risks is if we take risks and fail in something, we feel sad and regret.
>>The disadvantages is that when it fails, we feel sad and regretful. 

Also we can get afraid of doing something because we fail in something that we take risks.
>> We also get afraid of doing something because we failed in it the first time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105894 The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1435
105893 [2/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105892 [2/17]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105891 Do you enjoy holidays? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 987
105890 Do you agree that having a lot of homework is good training for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105889 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1050
105888 What do people do during movies that really annoy you? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 926
105887 Bond of my family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105886 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1030
105885 Title. ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105884 Why do you like to have daughters instead of sons? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1243
105883 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 4
105882 Math ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1191
105881 Other people\'s opinion ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 946
105880 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1100
105879 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105878 \"If you wishes to falling stars, the wishes comes true!\" ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1064
105877 What is the best way to lose weight? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1197
105876 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 0
105875 People cannot live alone. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1131

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04