¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-02-22 1325

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the advantages/disadvantages of taking risks?
-> The advantages of taking risks is if we take risks and succeed in something, we feel proud of our selves.
Also we can get a confidence of doing something because of taking risks.
The disadvantages of taking risks is if we take risks and fail in something, we feel sad and regret.
Also we can get afraid of doing something because we fail in something that we take risks.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

The advantages of taking risks is if we take risks and succeed in something, we feel proud of our selves.
>>The advantages of taking risks is that when we take risks and succeed in it, we feel proud of ourselves. 

Also we can get a confidence of doing something because of taking risks.
>> We can get confidence from it as well. 

The disadvantages of taking risks is if we take risks and fail in something, we feel sad and regret.
>>The disadvantages is that when it fails, we feel sad and regretful. 

Also we can get afraid of doing something because we fail in something that we take risks.
>> We also get afraid of doing something because we failed in it the first time. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105645 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105644 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105643 Homework0215 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 488
105642 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 629
105641 What is your routine before going to bed? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 668
105640 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105639 Respect My Parents Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 548
105638 \"People spend too much time watching videos on the Internet. Do... À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105637 NO I don\'t agree that the age is just a number À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 596
105636 Do you remember the first time you used a computer or the... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105635 2/15 ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 748
105634 What are the things you want to do while you are young? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105633 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 772
105632 What\'s the main reason you want to have a driver\'s license? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105631 How can you motivate yourself to be a better person? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 761
105630 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 596
105629 How rich do you want to be? How much money is enough for you? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105628 Why do you think people are addicted to social media? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105627 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 6
105626 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 564

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04