¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People cannot live alone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-22 1177

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.

Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.

I think the real relationship is here.
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
So I am very thankful for having friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for  sending your homework. Much appreciated!
Sincerely
James
I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
>>> CORRECT
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
>>> CORRECT
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
>>> And if we don't communicate with others, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
>>> Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationships in the worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
>>> Then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
>>> I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on  the help that they did it for free. 
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
>>> We don't give much money to our friends because we receive help for free. 
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.
>>> And we don't pay them to help us. 
I think the real relationship is here.
>>> I think that's the real relationship. 
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
>>> If our society is not friendly, it would be colder and I don't like to live anymore. 
So I am very thankful for having friends.
>>> CORRECT
>>>OR: So, I'm very thankful to have my friends. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106501 Do we need to be honest all the time? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 2
106500 What holiday in another countries do you wish to also be... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4127
106499 My day. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3
106498 Physical appearance ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4243
106497 Why is English fluency significant for you? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4657
106496 2021.03.12 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3598
106495 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 3784
106494 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4537
106493 Write about your ideal spring vacation ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5850
106492 The importance of salary in choosing a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4938
106491 At least 97 women killed by husbands, boyfirends last year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 0
106490 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 1
106489 Describe a risk you have taken which had a positive result ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4558
106488 Why are some sports expensive? Are they for everyone? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4499
106487 My diary ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 4856
106486 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5142
106485 Something that I want to change about my house ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5528
106484 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-12 5043
106483 Why do people need friends? What can happen if a person has no... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 4
106482 [03/10]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-11 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04