¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People cannot live alone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-22 1138

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.

Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.

I think the real relationship is here.
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
So I am very thankful for having friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for  sending your homework. Much appreciated!
Sincerely
James
I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
>>> CORRECT
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
>>> CORRECT
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
>>> And if we don't communicate with others, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
>>> Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationships in the worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
>>> Then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
>>> I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on  the help that they did it for free. 
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
>>> We don't give much money to our friends because we receive help for free. 
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.
>>> And we don't pay them to help us. 
I think the real relationship is here.
>>> I think that's the real relationship. 
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
>>> If our society is not friendly, it would be colder and I don't like to live anymore. 
So I am very thankful for having friends.
>>> CORRECT
>>>OR: So, I'm very thankful to have my friends. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105964 How would you like to celebrate your birthday this year? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1429
105963 The 2nd quarantine life_2 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105962 The 2nd quarantine life_1 Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 4
105961 homework_21.02.23 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105960 Time Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1275
105959 My pet dogs. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105958 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1404
105957 What food makes you feel at home and why is it special? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105956 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1462
105955 Penalty ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1455
105954 About Yesan ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1661
105953 HOMEWORK FOR 02.24 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1489
105952 About the pain of sickness Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1300
105951 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1215
105950 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1527
105949 I ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 2
105948 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105947 What part of your childhood would you remember the most? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105946 My most memorable family gathering or holiday experience ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1
105945 What are the situations that make you angry? Give me 2... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1125

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04