¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People cannot live alone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-22 1170

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.

Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.

I think the real relationship is here.
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
So I am very thankful for having friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for  sending your homework. Much appreciated!
Sincerely
James
I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
>>> CORRECT
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
>>> CORRECT
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
>>> And if we don't communicate with others, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
>>> Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationships in the worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
>>> Then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
>>> I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on  the help that they did it for free. 
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
>>> We don't give much money to our friends because we receive help for free. 
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.
>>> And we don't pay them to help us. 
I think the real relationship is here.
>>> I think that's the real relationship. 
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
>>> If our society is not friendly, it would be colder and I don't like to live anymore. 
So I am very thankful for having friends.
>>> CORRECT
>>>OR: So, I'm very thankful to have my friends. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105501 loosen up a bit ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 9
105500 I\'m punctual person, and being punctual is important. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 404
105499 homework_21.02.04 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105498 How can child abuse be prevented or avoided? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105497 Do you want to have a twin? Why or why not? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105496 I\\\'m not doing anything preparing a disaster À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 455
105495 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 0
105494 What comes to mind when you think of pet. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 383
105493 Musical Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 450
105492 If you moved to another country, what things would you miss... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105491 Homework {02/03} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 476
105490 Elements Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 403
105489 homework (Yoonha) Á¤*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105488 Homework0208 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 482
105487 HOMEWORK FOR 02.08 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 631
105486 Do you agree that \"age is just a number\"? In your country, how... À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 1
105485 Twins ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105484 How can we get rid of bad habits? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 447
105483 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 3
105482 Fortnight ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-08 534

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04