¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People cannot live alone.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿Â
2021-02-22 1180

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.

Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.

I think the real relationship is here.
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
So I am very thankful for having friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for  sending your homework. Much appreciated!
Sincerely
James
I think that people are the existences who want to realize( come true) themselves.
>>> CORRECT
We identify it through SNS which they post their lives on.
>>> CORRECT
and if we don't have others who communicate, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
>>> And if we don't communicate with others, we can easily get diseases like mental depression.
Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationship in worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
>>> Through our lives, we experience hardships like problems of relationships in the worksite, school or even close acquaintance.
then, we exchange our help with friends.
>>> Then, we exchange our help with friends.
I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on "free", that is "not paying"
>>> I think the difference between friends and just acquaintances depends on  the help that they did it for free. 
we don't give friends much money because we receive help from them
>>> We don't give much money to our friends because we receive help for free. 
and we don't also pay them to make them help me.
>>> And we don't pay them to help us. 
I think the real relationship is here.
>>> I think that's the real relationship. 
If our society doesn't have a friend, it would be colder and I'd like not to live the life
>>> If our society is not friendly, it would be colder and I don't like to live anymore. 
So I am very thankful for having friends.
>>> CORRECT
>>>OR: So, I'm very thankful to have my friends. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105421 job ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105420 Have you ever been to a really disgusting hotel? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 396
105419 The biggest change of Korean families. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 536
105418 HOMEWORK FOR 02.04 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 488
105417 What should I do when I notice a crime ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 409
105416 Do children learn bad habits at school or at home? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 420
105415 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2386
105414 When I feel demotivated ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 386
105413 Homework (218) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 450
105412 What type of music do you most like to listen to? À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 439
105411 How do you relieve stress ? Á¶*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105410 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 3
105409 My favorite things that are good for health. ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 459
105408 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 382
105407 In your own opinion, how long should a company meeting last? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105406 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 310
105405 My wish ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 411
105404 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 505
105403 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105402 What classes do you not like? Why don\'t you like them? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 375

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04