¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-02-22 1500

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! You're right. It comes with advantages and disadvantages so we should be careful when it comes to making decisions. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. 
>> CORRECT

But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. 
>>But it can also frustrate us and let us have a hard time. 

So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. 
>> So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right thing for us. 

But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,
>> But whatever we choose, regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106700 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4049
106699 Which place in Korea will you recommend for people to visit? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4452
106698 Please write a request that you might give or hear at home or... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3272
106697 Homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2
106696 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4520
106695 Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3395
106694 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106693 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106692 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106691 dialogue ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4924
106690 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106689 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4291
106688 My dream house Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4638
106687 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2
106686 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106685 please help me ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106684 What unusual habits do you observe in your family members? Do... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3914
106683 How can you cope with your bad habits? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4325
106682 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3999
106681 Script ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04