¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-02-22 1475

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! You're right. It comes with advantages and disadvantages so we should be careful when it comes to making decisions. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. 
>> CORRECT

But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. 
>>But it can also frustrate us and let us have a hard time. 

So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. 
>> So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right thing for us. 

But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,
>> But whatever we choose, regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106361 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4482
106360 Homework ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4508
106359 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5045
106358 What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of driving... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3
106357 In what ways do you think people discriminate against older... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106356 Hi º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 3893
106355 Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime,... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4418
106354 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4
106353 What are your fears? List some fears that you have and try to... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4232
106352 Stars accused of school bullying paying price À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106351 diary ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5550
106350 [Online Pub] Show us your traditional drinks À±*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4265
106349 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 0
106348 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4087
106347 What was the most exciting thing that happened to you this... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 1
106346 the rich and thr poor ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5271
106345 Describe a line that you remember from a poem or song. Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 5382
106344 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 2
106343 Do you think that older people make better leaders? Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4731
106342 Do you think meat-eaters are healthier than those who don¡¯t eat... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-09 4425

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04