¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-02-22 1466

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! You're right. It comes with advantages and disadvantages so we should be careful when it comes to making decisions. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. 
>> CORRECT

But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. 
>>But it can also frustrate us and let us have a hard time. 

So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. 
>> So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right thing for us. 

But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,
>> But whatever we choose, regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106233 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106232 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4271
106231 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 1
106230 My role model ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106229 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106228 I wake up at the same time whether it is a weekday or weekends. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 3335
106227 I want to be identified as ... ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5583
106226 Can you tell me about the excitement you had last time? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5315
106225 What I need in my friendship. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4810
106224 Yes! I was used when I was 6th grade on elementary school. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5213
106223 I usually get moody at nights or dawn. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5106
106222 Homework0304 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5457
106221 What other country\'s food do you like the most? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 2
106220 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4792
106219 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 4040
106218 HOMEWORK FOR 03.04 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5447
106217 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5179
106216 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 5368
106215 What are you thoughts about having face to face classes even if... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0
106214 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using social media... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04