¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-02-23 870

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What if we are born in rich family, what if we are talented at specific area, what if our family members are well-known in the society?
I think that these factors are deeply related to people's success. In democratic country, the equality of chance is important issue and many politicians argue that they will promise to provide same chances to citizens but when we face the results, rich people always get more chance or get good results because mostly they receive better education, live in better environment and keep their health very well. I don't mean that trials are not important but there are many unfair things from the beginning. Luck can have a effect on people's trials but I think luck definitely come to the people who put a lot of efforts and are prepared well to do something. I feel sad because many people buy lottery every week and wish winning it. They just want to get luck without any efforts. I hope every single put they efforts on their field and then they will get good

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework! ^^Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day! Have a good one~! See you! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
What if we are born in rich family, what if we are talented at specific area, what if our family members are well-known in the society?
>>> What if we were born in a rich family, what if we are talented at specific areas, what if our family members are well-known in the society?
I think that these factors are deeply related to people's success. 
>>> I think these factors are deeply related to people's success. 
In democratic country, the equality of chance is important issue and many politicians argue that they will promise to provide same chances to citizens but when we face the results, rich people always get more chance or get good results because mostly they receive better education, live in better environment and keep their health very well. 
>>> In democratic countries, equality is an important issue and many politicians argue that they will promise to provide the same chances to citizens but the truth is, rich people always get more chances or get good results because most of the time they receive better education, they live in better environment and keep their health very well. 
I don't mean that trials are not important but there are many unfair things from the beginning.
>>> CORRECT
 Luck can have a effect on people's trials but I think luck definitely come to the people who put a lot of efforts and are prepared well to do something. 
>>>  Luck can have an effect on people's trials but I think luck definitely comes to the people who put a lot of efforts and are prepared well to do something. 
I feel sad because many people buy lottery every week and wish winning it.
>>> I feel sad because many people buy lottery every week and wish they could win.
 They just want to get luck without any efforts.
>>> CORRECT
 I hope every single put they efforts on their field and then they will get good
>>>  I hope every individual will put their efforts on their field and then they will get good...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106124 HOMEWORK Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106123 Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3628
106122 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106121 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3833
106120 Woman nabbed for posting flyers containing misinformation on... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106119 DIRECTIONS: Use the words in a sentence. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106118 Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2748
106117 Does violence in movies and on television inspire violence in... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4112
106116 Best things of living in Korea ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2657
106115 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 4
106114 HOMEWORK FOR 03.01 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3439
106113 The most memorable dream I¡¯ve had ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3274
106112 How do you overcome your \"stage fright\" (fear of speaking in... Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2355
106111 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2021-03-01 2373
106110 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ÁøÇàÁß 2021-03-01 3338
106109 Homework (231) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1894
106108 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3879
106107 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3389
106106 Should people make their children have easy lives with few... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106105 Books are worth keeping! À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04