¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-02-23 838

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to rhink positively and feel responsible for happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning EDEN~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework! ^^Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day! Have a good one~! See you! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
>>> However, they cannot think positively if they are stressed.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
>>> That's why I think their external factors affect their happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to think positively and be responsible for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106300 L... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5
106299 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106298 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4109
106297 My response is.. Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4288
106296 The reason why English is fluency significant for me °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4235
106295 My memorable trip À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3
106294 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3
106293 Homework! À¯*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4718
106292 What is the best season in your hometown? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4243
106291 My favorite book or movie. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 2
106290 My biggest goal in my life is living happily with family. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4568
106289 What is the strangest food you have ever eaten? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 5105
106288 What can you do outside your house? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4178
106287 What are some reasons why people cry? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 2
106286 Trust and distrust Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4712
106285 Activities on a vacation. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 5368
106284 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 3
106283 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 3
106282 Covid-19fslfkaslkgjmafbgfbgwag ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 4633
106281 Describe your closest friend. ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 4253

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04