¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-02-23 820

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to rhink positively and feel responsible for happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning EDEN~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework! ^^Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day! Have a good one~! See you! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
>>> However, they cannot think positively if they are stressed.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
>>> That's why I think their external factors affect their happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to think positively and be responsible for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106084 Homework0301 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 10841
106083 For my children. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3098
106082 [02/24]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106081 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106080 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3164
106079 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3220
106078 Online classes vs. In-person lessons ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3
106077 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3
106076 What are some of the best jobs you can think of? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106075 Is there anything you don\'t like about weekends and you wish... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3110
106074 Inventions that will make people¡¯s lives much easier ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3605
106073 My best trip in middle school ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3659
106072 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 4
106071 Trusting a person Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3494
106070 Email ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 3
106069 Weenkends ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 1
106068 My presentation2 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 5
106067 My presentation1 ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-28 9
106066 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3797
106065 HOMEWORK FOR 02.26 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-27 3291

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04