¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-02-23 836

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to rhink positively and feel responsible for happiness.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning EDEN~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework! ^^Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day! Have a good one~! See you! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
If you do what you want to do and think positively you will feel happy and take responsibility for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
However, they can not think positively if they are stressed of outside and do not well.
>>> However, they cannot think positively if they are stressed.
That's why I think there external factors that affect one's happiness.
>>> That's why I think their external factors affect their happiness.
There are external factors that affect happiness, but it is also important to think positively and be responsible for happiness.
>>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105807 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105806 What do you say first when you answer a call? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1125
105805 Baseball instead of Basketball °û*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1198
105804 homework0219 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 926
105803 ENGLISH HOMEWORK 29 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1171
105802 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1027
105801 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 8
105800 Who would I go travel with ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105799 How many cars would you like to have? Why ? ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 989
105798 If you can control the time of your sleep, would you rather... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 927
105797 The thing that¡¯s not yet existing but I want to be invented ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 999
105796 HOMEWORK FOR 02.18 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1012
105795 Who do you think is/was the greatest man in Korea? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 0
105794 What is a \'healing game\'? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 0
105793 if I were a lyricist... ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 731
105792 Breaking a bad vice ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1016
105791 Abandoned a job field that I was in over 10 years À±*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 992
105790 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 901
105789 The reason people is addicted SNS ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1221
105788 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-18 1654

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04