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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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I have been a halloween party when I was in Florida.

작성자: 김*랑
2021-02-23 1179

회원님의 영작문

When I was seven, I was went to America, and that day was October 31th, so I was exicted, because I like halloween party. My mother said: "how about this twinkling sparkling ribbon dress?". This situation mean we are choosing our costume. My dress is white color and there is a red ribbon in my back. My younger brother's costume is robot, the robot name is optimuse prime of the movie main character. Take a pumpkin back, go to someone's house, and say: "Trick or Treat!!" This mean "If you don't give a snack then I will bull you". But!! you have to be careful, if you eat a lot of candy, and chocolate your teeth became unhealty. Anyway, this experience was awesome. I want to play one more time in America.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi Maria!

Surely, Halloween parties can be so much fun! From preparing a costume, being with new friends, and doing the trick or treat,
nothing can beat the experience specially when you do it in America.

I hope that someday, you can go back there and do it again. However, you will be old and they might not give you candy anymore.

So prepare some candies so that you can give the kids in time.

Thanks for writing down this experience, I really appreciate it.

See you in class tomorrow.

-T. Donna =)

When I was seven, I was went to America, and that day was October 31th, so I was exicted, because I like halloween party.
>> When I was seven, I was went to America, and that day was October 31th, so I was excited, because I like to see a Halloween party.

My mother said: "how about this twinkling sparkling ribbon dress?". This situation mean we are choosing our costume.
>> My mother said, "How about this twinkling sparkling ribbon dress?" This situation meant that we were choosing our costume.

My dress is white color and there is a red ribbon in my back.
>> Correct!
Or: My dress is color white and there is a red ribbon at the back.

My younger brother's costume is robot, the robot name is optimuse prime of the movie main character.
>> My younger brother's costume is a robot, the robot's name is Optimus Prime, the movie main character.

Take a pumpkin back, go to someone's house, and say: "Trick or Treat!!" This mean "If you don't give a snack then I will bull you".
>> We took a pumpkin back, went to someone's house, and said, "Trick or Treat!" This means "If you don't give a snack, then I will bully you".

But!! you have to be careful, if you eat a lot of candy, and chocolate your teeth became unhealty. Anyway, this experience was awesome.
>> But, you have to be careful, if you eat a lot of candies and chocolates because your teeth will became unhealthy. Anyway, this experience was awesome.

I want to play one more time in America.
>> I want to play this one more time in America.
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