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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Part2 - The article divided into two parts because of word\'s limitation.

작성자: 정*철
2021-02-23 1144

회원님의 영작문

-ding or now and then some group of tourists make lots of noise from outside. So residents cannot put up with these inconvenience circumstance.
On the other hand, it is a predominant saying that tourism industry brings regional economic benefits; better hiring rate and higher income. In the world, most famous cities are the main attractive places for traveling: Paris, London, New York, and Rome.  Using incomes from tourists, these cities have developed infrastructure like bridges, roads, and public transportation to boost tourism sectors. On top of that, a number of young employees can more easily get a job particularly in service commercial sectors, such as hotels, restaurants, or shops. The more salaries workers have, the more taxes local government intake. 
In conclusion, a skepticism view of international tourists is bias and we need to re-think of its economic advantage in our city. To become a famous tourist place could be the most valuable reputation for people living there.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

While it is true that the locals feel very uncomfortable when tourists flock to their city, we cannot deny the fact that there are so many who can earn a living and take advantage of the volume of people who need services and utilities.

I agree with your ideas that tourism is a pride and a great source of economy for the locals. At the same time, balance in nature and waste disposal need to be carefully considered by the government as well.

Thanks once again and see you soon, Charles.

-T. Donna =)

-ding or now and then some group of tourists make lots of noise from outside. So residents cannot put up with these inconvenience circumstance.
>> -ding or now and then some groups of tourists make lots of noise from the outside. So residents cannot put up with these inconvenient circumstances.

On the other hand, it is a predominant saying that tourism industry brings regional economic benefits; better hiring rate and higher income. 
>> On the other hand, it is predominant to say that the tourism industry brings regional economic benefits; better hiring rate and higher income. 

In the world, most famous cities are the main attractive places for traveling: Paris, London, New York, and Rome.
>> Correct!

Using incomes from tourists, these cities have developed infrastructure like bridges, roads, and public transportation to boost tourism sectors. 
>> Correct!

On top of that, a number of young employees can more easily get a job particularly in service commercial sectors, such as hotels, restaurants, or shops. 
>> Correct!

The more salaries workers have, the more taxes local government intake. 
>> Correct!

In conclusion, a skepticism view of international tourists is bias and we need to re-think of its economic advantage in our city. 
>> In conclusion, a skeptic view of international tourists is biased/ (may be biased) and we need to re-think of its economic advantages in our city/ (for our city). 

To become a famous tourist place could be the most valuable reputation for people living there.
>> Correct!
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