¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The part of my childhood that I remember the most

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-02-23 1095

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I remember the time that I stayed at the Philippines the most. I was 11years old and I had a lot of experience and I really like the memories I masde. I became independent person after I came back to Korea. Until now, I really miss those days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! Awww, that sounds nice.  Not everyone is given the chance to study abroad. You really should cherish those moments. ^^ Anyways, thank you for sharing your experience. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

-Teacher Elise 

I remember the time that I stayed at the Philippines the most. 
>> I will remember the time that I stayed in the Philippines the most. 

I was 11years old and I had a lot of experience and I really like the memories I masde. 
>> I was 11 years old. I had a lot of experiences and I really like the memories I made there. 

I became independent person after I came back to Korea. 
>> I became an independent person after I came back to Korea. 

Until now, I really miss those days
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106575 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106574 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106573 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106572 ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4980
106571 When is immigration helpful to a country and when is harmful? È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106570 How can traveling be educational ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4310
106569 The thing I would buy if I¡¯m going to save up some money for... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4710
106568 Homework (241) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5435
106567 Do you think all children should be taught loyalty and... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3317
106566 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 6
106565 What is your favorite music genre? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4426
106564 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4220
106563 Music Therapy ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3972
106562 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4592
106561 What bad habits bother you the most? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4483
106560 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106559 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106558 the principle of thesis-antithesis-synthesis ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3936
106557 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106556 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4138

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04