¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Penalty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-24 1485

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty. Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom. And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide. But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. So, I must survive to prove my innocence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.
>>> In my own conclusion, I think life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.

Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom.
>>> Life imprisonment means they can still keep on living, although they don't have freedom.

And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. 
>>> Personally, I am afraid of death. To be punished with the death penalty is difficult. 

If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. 
>>> CORRECT 

At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. 
>>> At that time, I can adapt and accept the death penalty. 

Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide.
>>> If I committed a crime as bad as being punished with the death penalty, I would commit suicide instead.

But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. 
>>> But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy to be punished with the death penalty. 

So, I must survive to prove my innocence.
>>> So, I must survive to prove my innocence if I didn't commit the crime.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106564 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4213
106563 Music Therapy ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3962
106562 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4572
106561 What bad habits bother you the most? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4481
106560 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106559 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106558 the principle of thesis-antithesis-synthesis ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3928
106557 Am I sensitive? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106556 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4133
106555 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4277
106554 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4661
106553 If you will travel, will you choose Australia or New Zealand?... ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3821
106552 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 0
106551 No I don\'t believe in magic. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4756
106550 My favorite superherol ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4397
106549 homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3
106548 What has been the best amusement park you have ever visited? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106547 Homework {03/15} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4864
106546 Do you want to live with best friend? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5423
106545 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4749

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04