¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Penalty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-24 1471

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty. Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom. And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide. But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. So, I must survive to prove my innocence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.
>>> In my own conclusion, I think life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.

Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom.
>>> Life imprisonment means they can still keep on living, although they don't have freedom.

And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. 
>>> Personally, I am afraid of death. To be punished with the death penalty is difficult. 

If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. 
>>> CORRECT 

At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. 
>>> At that time, I can adapt and accept the death penalty. 

Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide.
>>> If I committed a crime as bad as being punished with the death penalty, I would commit suicide instead.

But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. 
>>> But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy to be punished with the death penalty. 

So, I must survive to prove my innocence.
>>> So, I must survive to prove my innocence if I didn't commit the crime.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106286 Trust and distrust Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 4710
106285 Activities on a vacation. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 5364
106284 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-07 3
106283 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 3
106282 Covid-19fslfkaslkgjmafbgfbgwag ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 4632
106281 Describe your closest friend. ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 4247
106280 What do you like to talk about over the phone with a friend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 3858
106279 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 3701
106278 KAIST\'s new material could make EV batteries 20% more powerful À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 1
106277 The reason why people cry ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 5328
106276 If given the chance, would you like to visit the moon? Why or... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-06 2
106275 Practice making sentences with the following expressions: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 2
106274 Can you think of some reason why people don\'t keep dogs or cats? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 5247
106273 Homework (235) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 4891
106272 Practice making sentences using the words. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 1
106271 The way I plan to motivate myself to improve my English ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 3996
106270 How do you plan to motivate yourself to improve your English? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 6490
106269 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 4492
106268 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 0
106267 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-05 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04