¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Penalty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-24 1449

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty. Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom. And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide. But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. So, I must survive to prove my innocence.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



To tell the conclusion, I think that life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.
>>> In my own conclusion, I think life imprisonment is better than the death penalty.

Because, life imprisonment also can keep living, although I don't have freedom.
>>> Life imprisonment means they can still keep on living, although they don't have freedom.

And, I am afraid of death. To adopt the death penalty is difficult. 
>>> Personally, I am afraid of death. To be punished with the death penalty is difficult. 

If I stay in a prison for a long time, I will be crazy. 
>>> CORRECT 

At that time, I can adopt the death penalty. 
>>> At that time, I can adapt and accept the death penalty. 

Sure, If I committed a crime as bad as getting death penalty, I would commit suicide.
>>> If I committed a crime as bad as being punished with the death penalty, I would commit suicide instead.

But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy as much as getting death penalty. 
>>> But, I am sure, I am not a bad guy to be punished with the death penalty. 

So, I must survive to prove my innocence.
>>> So, I must survive to prove my innocence if I didn't commit the crime.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106036 My first airplane ride and how I felt. ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 0
106035 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 1171
106034 English Homework 32 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 1365
106033 M... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 2
106032 Do you like to try new restaurants, or do you prefer to go to... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 2
106031 HOMEWORK FOR 02.25 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-26 1592
106030 The reason why it does matter to me when people ask my age Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2
106029 Do you think aliens exist? Why? ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1382
106028 WRT ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3
106027 To protect ourselves from being a victim of a crime. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1277
106026 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4
106025 What do you think is the animal that they shouldn\'t use for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 0
106024 WRT ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4
106023 Everything has ambivalence. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3351
106022 Homework (229) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3668
106021 Are there days when you just enjoy having a good cry for no... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 4103
106020 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2678
106019 Why do we need clothes? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3320
106018 Homework0225 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3144
106017 What was the last tragic? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04