¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-02-26 1184

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to a certain extent.
These days, many people think from judeged according to their social status and material possession.
People are inore from the poor, but respect and follow from the rich.
Before, kindness and trust are most important, but now social status and marterial possession are most important.
I don't know why people judge that.
I think the world must change.
Otherwise the world will be ruined.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there EDEN~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework smartly. I appreciate your essay ideas. Keep writing and keep learning.^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree to a certain extent.
>>> CORRECT
These days, many people think from judeged according to their social status and material possession.
>>> These days, many people judged others according to their social status and material possessions.
People are inore from the poor, but respect and follow from the rich.
>>> People ignore the poor, but respect and follow the rich.
Before, kindness and trust are most important, but now social status and marterial possession are most important.
>>> Before, kindness and trust are most important, but now social status and materials possession are the most important.
I don't know why people judge that.
>>> I don't know why people judge that way.
I think the world must change.
>>> CORRECT
Otherwise the world will be ruined.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106324 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5132
106323 What kind of problems do poor people have? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 2
106322 Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 5
106321 Work email draft - correction (3/3) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106320 Work email draft - correction (2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106319 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 0
106318 Work email draft - correction (1/2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 26
106317 Constellation ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3680
106316 True of False. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4503
106315 My day. ¾È*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 7
106314 Teacher\'s Day Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3783
106313 Homework. À¯*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4792
106312 Teacher Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4414
106311 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3984
106310 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4088
106309 In 100 years from now, how different do you think the natural... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4417
106308 New Lesson ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3629
106307 Write about a time when you had an annoying incident. ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 4421
106306 My priorities in looking for a job °­*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 3880
106305 Seoul\'s population falls below 10 million for the first time in... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04