¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Learn

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-02-26 1326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?
I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
I think kids should learn manners while they are still young! They should learn foreign manners too!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Clair!


Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?


I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
>> I think kids should learn manners like table etiquette.

An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
>> Some examples of Korean table manners are not sneezing when you are eating, or not eating faster than adults.

And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
>> And in western countries, putting your elbows on the table or talking while you are eating is considered impolite. 

I think kids should learn manners while they are still young!
>> correct

They should learn foreign manners too!
>> They should learn good manners from foreign countries, too!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106888 What was your greatest changes in your life? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3303
106887 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2
106886 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2780
106885 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106884 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106883 homework. °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 0
106882 My favorite food ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3479
106881 Lessons Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3000
106880 Yes! Of course!! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3262
106879 What is your hometown famous for? And why is it famous? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2413
106878 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2548
106877 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2763
106876 Write about how you feel about blind dates. ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 3109
106875 Tips for foreigners. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2625
106874 It is very difficult question! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2649
106873 Divorce Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2870
106872 I have a question Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2130
106871 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 2317
106870 How would you feel if you fail to achieve any of your goals? È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1
106869 Stars accused of school bullying paying price À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-24 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04