¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Learn

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-02-26 1306

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?
I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
I think kids should learn manners while they are still young! They should learn foreign manners too!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Clair!


Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?


I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
>> I think kids should learn manners like table etiquette.

An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
>> Some examples of Korean table manners are not sneezing when you are eating, or not eating faster than adults.

And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
>> And in western countries, putting your elbows on the table or talking while you are eating is considered impolite. 

I think kids should learn manners while they are still young!
>> correct

They should learn foreign manners too!
>> They should learn good manners from foreign countries, too!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106541 Why do so many people like sports? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5268
106540 What is or was the happiest time of your life? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106539 Do you think people are too dependent on our smartphones? Why or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 0
106538 If something is annoying you, what do you usually do? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106537 Homework ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 2
106536 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 1
106535 Travel ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 4436
106534 homework_21.03.11 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 3
106533 What do you borrow from your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5209
106532 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 0
106531 Even if you\'re not interested in festivals, can you think of a... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-15 5723
106530 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 1
106529 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 0
106528 What is the importance of having time with your family? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 4138
106527 3.11 Ȳ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 3732
106526 Where do you work out? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 4191
106525 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 6
106524 Pokemon cards ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 4016
106523 How can travelling be educational? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 4015
106522 If you are going to save up some money for something, what would... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-14 4798

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04