¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Learn

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-02-26 1286

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?
I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
I think kids should learn manners while they are still young! They should learn foreign manners too!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Clair!


Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?


I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
>> I think kids should learn manners like table etiquette.

An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
>> Some examples of Korean table manners are not sneezing when you are eating, or not eating faster than adults.

And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
>> And in western countries, putting your elbows on the table or talking while you are eating is considered impolite. 

I think kids should learn manners while they are still young!
>> correct

They should learn foreign manners too!
>> They should learn good manners from foreign countries, too!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106004 Please write three things you and your friends have in common ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106003 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106002 Will you keep up with the current events? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1306
106001 which country I would like to visit ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1208
106000 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105999 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1365
105998 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1407
105997 Are you okay? Ysabelle? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2
105996 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105995 State of interest #8 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1295
105994 State of interest #7 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1641
105993 State of interest #6 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1441
105992 State of interest #5 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105991 What is something that you would have a hard time giving up and... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105990 English Homework 31 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1203
105989 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105988 If you discovered that someone had been gossiping about you,... ±è*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1186
105987 The food makes me feel at home ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1452
105986 Write about the worst movie you have seen. Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1199
105985 What must a company do or have to be successful? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1800

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04