¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Learn

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*ºó
2021-02-26 1339

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?
I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
I think kids should learn manners while they are still young! They should learn foreign manners too!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Clair!


Cheers,
Jean~~


           Theme: [ESSAY] What do you think kids should learn while they are still young?


I think kids should learn manners like table manners.
>> I think kids should learn manners like table etiquette.

An example of Korean table manner is don't sneeze when you are eating, don't eat faster than adolts.
>> Some examples of Korean table manners are not sneezing when you are eating, or not eating faster than adults.

And foreign country's table manner is don't put your elbow on the table, don't talk while you are eating.
>> And in western countries, putting your elbows on the table or talking while you are eating is considered impolite. 

I think kids should learn manners while they are still young!
>> correct

They should learn foreign manners too!
>> They should learn good manners from foreign countries, too!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105649 If you really want to do a half-day because you need to do... °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 594
105648 My favorite teacher is social studies teacher. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 718
105647 Skills or hobbies or activities you want to learn. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 577
105646 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 570
105645 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105644 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105643 Homework0215 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 495
105642 HOMEWORK °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 637
105641 What is your routine before going to bed? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 676
105640 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105639 Respect My Parents Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 569
105638 \"People spend too much time watching videos on the Internet. Do... À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 0
105637 NO I don\'t agree that the age is just a number À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 615
105636 Do you remember the first time you used a computer or the... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105635 2/15 ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 758
105634 What are the things you want to do while you are young? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105633 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 783
105632 What\'s the main reason you want to have a driver\'s license? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105631 How can you motivate yourself to be a better person? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 783
105630 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 605

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04