¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-02 2748

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance. I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society. If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problem with their colleagues someday. However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life. We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper reward. Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility. However, they get points for their entrance exam so wage should be lower than regular workers. Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for your ideas! Keep it up! I appreciate that you work independently and takes pride in work well done
Have a good one~! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance.
>>> CORRECT
I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
>>> I thought it helps students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
 If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problems with their colleagues someday.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life.
>>> CORRECT
 We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper rewards. 
>>> CORRECT
Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. 
>>> CORRECT
With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. 
>>> With this view, unpaid community work has to be changed. 
Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility.
>>> Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid for the used  facilities.
 However, they get points for their entrance exam so wages should be lower than regular workers. 
>>> CORRECT
Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106005 About my dreams ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 3721
106004 Please write three things you and your friends have in common ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106003 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
106002 Will you keep up with the current events? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1306
106001 which country I would like to visit ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1210
106000 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105999 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1367
105998 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1409
105997 Are you okay? Ysabelle? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2
105996 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105995 State of interest #8 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1296
105994 State of interest #7 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1644
105993 State of interest #6 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1442
105992 State of interest #5 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105991 What is something that you would have a hard time giving up and... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105990 English Homework 31 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1207
105989 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105988 If you discovered that someone had been gossiping about you,... ±è*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1192
105987 The food makes me feel at home ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1453
105986 Write about the worst movie you have seen. Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1200

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04