¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-02 2763

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance. I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society. If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problem with their colleagues someday. However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life. We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper reward. Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility. However, they get points for their entrance exam so wage should be lower than regular workers. Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for your ideas! Keep it up! I appreciate that you work independently and takes pride in work well done
Have a good one~! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance.
>>> CORRECT
I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
>>> I thought it helps students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
 If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problems with their colleagues someday.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life.
>>> CORRECT
 We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper rewards. 
>>> CORRECT
Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. 
>>> CORRECT
With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. 
>>> With this view, unpaid community work has to be changed. 
Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility.
>>> Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid for the used  facilities.
 However, they get points for their entrance exam so wages should be lower than regular workers. 
>>> CORRECT
Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105851 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 9
105850 The surgery ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 2
105849 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 4
105848 Do you have any vice? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 993
105847 Homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105846 Homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105845 My first day of holiday in Korea Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 1
105844 My first day of holiday in Korea Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 3
105843 My first day of holiday in Korea Da*d OH ¿Ï·á 2021-02-21 3
105842 If I could live someone else\'s life Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 2
105841 Homework ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 7
105840 Why celebrity beauty brands are good business À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 1
105839 Pro bono lawyers sue on behalf of animals in peril À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 1
105838 Describe the best party that you have been to. Why was it the... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 1114
105837 HOMEWORK FOR 02.19 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1111
105836 What do you like about the Korean Educational system? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105835 To Gina ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1469
105834 Homework (226) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1063
105833 [2/16]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105832 The thing I like the most in my hometown ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 967

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04