¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-02 2769

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance. I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society. If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problem with their colleagues someday. However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life. We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper reward. Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility. However, they get points for their entrance exam so wage should be lower than regular workers. Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for your ideas! Keep it up! I appreciate that you work independently and takes pride in work well done
Have a good one~! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance.
>>> CORRECT
I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
>>> I thought it helps students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
 If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problems with their colleagues someday.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life.
>>> CORRECT
 We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper rewards. 
>>> CORRECT
Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. 
>>> CORRECT
With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. 
>>> With this view, unpaid community work has to be changed. 
Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility.
>>> Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid for the used  facilities.
 However, they get points for their entrance exam so wages should be lower than regular workers. 
>>> CORRECT
Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105722 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1000
105721 Why is English fluency significant for you? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105720 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 634
105719 02.17 when you meet a person, what do you think~? È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 5
105718 Why is English fluency significant for you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105717 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105716 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 2
105715 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105714 English Homework 28 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1016
105713 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 5
105712 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 942
105711 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105710 Homework ÀÓ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 931
105709 What I want to add in my ideal fitness program ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105708 The biggest problem that I have overcome. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1238
105707 COMPOSITION º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 3
105706 [2/15]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105705 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105704 The things I expect for this new year ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 826
105703 What do you get from watching movies/dramas? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04