¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is point

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-02 3633

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purpose such as cut meats or killing it but we don't use it anymore for same goals. If something new invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trial and error. Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution which machines has been installed. It looked disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in the better environment because of developments. We also have tried to keep traditional skills, building and way of life, for example, HanOk, traditional house in Korea, people who are talented in specific field even though machines can do it. There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn't know how our ancestors built it. I think we have many things to learn from the past. We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which has to throw away.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! ^^ Thank you for doing your homework smartly! Continue to improve your writing skills and keep going with your ideas! Have a nice day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purpose such as cut meats or killing it but we don't use it anymore for same goals. 
>>> Our ancestors used to use stones or bronze for various purposes such as cut to cut meat or to kill animals but we don't use them anymore for the same reasons. 
If something new invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trial and error. 
>>> If something new is invented, new skills or things will be implemented in our life after several trials and errors. 
Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution which machines has been installed. 
>>> Many people have lost their jobs during industrial revolution when machines had been installed. 
It looked disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in the better environment because of developments.
>>> It may seem a disaster for the world but another new jobs created and we have been living in a better environment because of developments.
 We also have tried to keep traditional skills, building and way of life, for example, HanOk, traditional house in Korea, people who are talented in specific field even though machines can do it.
>>> CORRECT
 There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn't know how our ancestors built it.
>>>  There are a lot of mysterious architectures in the world and we still didn't know how our ancestors built them.
 I think we have many things to learn from the past. 
>>> CORRECT
We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which has to throw away.
>>> We have to look over everything in the past and take things that might be helpful for us and we need to find out something which is to be thrown away.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105742 It would be very fun imagination! ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 835
105741 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 0
105740 Make 3 sentences with the word flower and 2 questions with the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 893
105739 No, I have never seen a real king and queen. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 794
105738 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 3
105737 No. I don\'t like to pay more À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 853
105736 essay Á¤*±³ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1028
105735 Obedient Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 795
105734 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 972
105733 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 905
105732 In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 833
105731 homework ÀÌ* ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 940
105730 Jane`s titan robot ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1040
105729 Many people feel that students should learn from online... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 854
105728 What images spring to mind when you hear the season ¡°spring¡¯? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 907
105727 Their emotions. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105726 Do you agree that humans are ruled by their emotions? Why or why... ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 929
105725 Youtubers earned $28,541 on average in 2019 À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 0
105724 Do you enjoy meeting new people? What do you like most or least... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1
105723 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04