¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-04 3676

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013. However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Won!

This is a very good and critical analysis of the graph that I directed you to refer to on the internet.

You are very good in analyzing the data. Take note that when we refer to people, we use 'who' so that we can refrain calling them "people" or make use of incorrect pronouns.

Thanks for doing this IELTS writing task.

See you in a couple of hours!

-T. Donna =)

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 
>> The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students who visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 

As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013.
>> As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students who visited Paris reached at a high  at 20,000 in 2013.

However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. 
>> However, the number of students who visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20,000 to 18,000 between 2013 and 2014.

The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 
>> The number of students who visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period of 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 

The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
>> The number of students who visited Rome showed and up and down trend for 2 years after 2012.

In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
>> In contrast, the number of students who visited London increased gradually from 15,000 in 2011 to nearly 20,000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students who visited Paris in 2014, and showed a peak at approximately 20,000 at the end of the research period.

Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.
>> Overall, the number of students who visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students who visited Rome decreased.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106705 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3957
106704 English fluency ¼³*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2768
106703 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4197
106702 Artists need a certain amount of freedom to develop their... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3
106701 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 8
106700 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4044
106699 Which place in Korea will you recommend for people to visit? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4448
106698 Please write a request that you might give or hear at home or... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3267
106697 Homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2
106696 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4505
106695 Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 3392
106694 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106693 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106692 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0
106691 dialogue ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4911
106690 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 1
106689 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4273
106688 My dream house Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 4625
106687 Do you think it would be a good idea to have 3 days worth of... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 2
106686 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04