¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-04 3657

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013. However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Won!

This is a very good and critical analysis of the graph that I directed you to refer to on the internet.

You are very good in analyzing the data. Take note that when we refer to people, we use 'who' so that we can refrain calling them "people" or make use of incorrect pronouns.

Thanks for doing this IELTS writing task.

See you in a couple of hours!

-T. Donna =)

The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 
>> The graph indicates changes of tourism statistics of Venezuelian students who visited London, Paris, and Rome between the year 2011 and 2014. 

As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students visited Paris reached a high place at 20000 in 2013.
>> As clearly seen from the graph, the number of students who visited Paris reached at a high  at 20,000 in 2013.

However, the number of students visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20000 to 18000 between 2013 and 2014. 
>> However, the number of students who visited Paris showed a downward trend from 20,000 to 18,000 between 2013 and 2014.

The number of students visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 
>> The number of students who visited Rome was the highest at approximately 1800 in the beginning of the period of 2011 but it decreased significantly to 13000 in 2012. 

The number of students visited Rome showed up and down during 2 years after 2012.
>> The number of students who visited Rome showed and up and down trend for 2 years after 2012.

In contrast, the number of students visited London increased gradually from 15000 in 2011 to nearly 20000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students visited Paris in 2014, showed a peak at approximately 20000 at the end of the research period.
>> In contrast, the number of students who visited London increased gradually from 15,000 in 2011 to nearly 20,000 in 2014. It was overtaking the number of students who visited Paris in 2014, and showed a peak at approximately 20,000 at the end of the research period.

Overall, the number of students visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students visited Rome decreased.
>> Overall, the number of students who visited Paris and London increased from 2011 to 2014. Meanwhile, the number of students who visited Rome decreased.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106002 Will you keep up with the current events? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1319
106001 which country I would like to visit ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1263
106000 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105999 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1393
105998 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1432
105997 Are you okay? Ysabelle? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 2
105996 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105995 State of interest #8 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1320
105994 State of interest #7 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1669
105993 State of interest #6 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1469
105992 State of interest #5 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105991 What is something that you would have a hard time giving up and... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1
105990 English Homework 31 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-25 1236
105989 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 3
105988 If you discovered that someone had been gossiping about you,... ±è*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1217
105987 The food makes me feel at home ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1475
105986 Write about the worst movie you have seen. Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1222
105985 What must a company do or have to be successful? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1820
105984 Homework (228) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1275
105983 State of interest #4 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-02-24 1485

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04